toast-to-the-lassies-2017

The toasts to the lassies and laddies can be an hilarious – often endearing, enlightening, and raucous – part of any traditional Burns Night. It's an element we skipped the first year, as it seemed a lot to put on ourselves or request of guests who, at the time, hadn't the slightest inkling of what they were getting themselves into. It has now become one of our favorite points of the evening!

Researching the Toasts

I'll say that I came out on the other side of my initial research – way back in 2015 – rather daunted. The examples I came across were certainly amusing but very formal, quite long, and decidedly scholarly: not exactly an attainable objective at last minute, nor particularly enjoyable for all guests. We must please to know our audience, friends. *Update: Here is one I wandered by, though, that was pretty accessible:

Exeter College Oxford – Toast to the Lassies & Reply to the Laddies

I decided I needed to start at the beginning and went back to one of my original Burns sources, the BBC's Burns Night webpage, to understand the fundamentals. I've quoted their general explanations for each speech below.

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A Toast to the Lassies
The humorous highlight of any Burns Night comes in this toast, which is designed to praise the role of women in the world today. It need not be based on Burns work but references to this always help to retain the focus of the evening. It is 100% about women and their influence and effect on men. Particular reference to those present makes for a more meaningful toast.

The toast concludes with all men giving this toast: To the Lassies!

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The Reply or Toast to the Laddies
A female guest will give her views on men and reply to any specific points raised by the previous speaker. Like the previous speech, this should be amusing, but not offensive. Quite often the speakers giving this toast and the previous one will collaborate so that the two toasts complement each other.

The toast concludes with all women giving the toast: "To the Laddies!"

Feeling that I rather had the gist, I imparted my knowledge to our friends Chad and Emily and requested they take on these two pivotal speeches.*Update: Please note that it's important that the writer of the Toast to the Laddies be aware of the content of the lassies speech prior to the night of the dinner. Give your laddie a deadline for the Toast to the Lassies a couple of weeks out from your event, so that it can then be submitted to your lassie for penning a proper reply.

Below I share with you each speech, in both video and text form. Enjoy their first stab at brilliance – enjoyably phony accents, raunchy tidbits, and all!

Toast to the Lassies – Burns Night 2016

Toast to the Lassies – Presented by Chadwick Snedecker – Written by Bryan Haney & Chadwick Snedecker

Note the many inside jokes (Bacon Brothers, anyone?)….

Toast to the Laddies – Burns Night 2016

Toast to the Laddies – Presented by Emily Schwartz – Written by Emily Schwartz

Note that Emily was on crutches that year from a badly sprained ankle, thus the "…though I cannot stand here tonight…"

I hope these toasts, essential to the ceremonial proceedings of any proper Burns Night, feel slightly more accessible. The whole name of the game is drawing on the inspiration of the bard, making these your own, and – of course – entertaining your guests!

Let me know if you've found any great videos or texts of past toasts; or share those of your own. Good luck in preparations for this year's feast and folly!

*Feel free to use any or part of either of these at your upcoming gathering but, if you post, please credit and link back to this blog!

*UPDATE: If you're looking for a couple more examples, I've added a new post with our toasts from Burns Night 2019. Take a look!

Want more Burns Night inspiration? Go to my Pinterest or click "Burns Night Suppers" here or on the side panel.